Why Am I Forced to Love You?
by Kuroida
Summary: A series of one shots centered around Ed's relationship with his father, Hohenheim if Hohenheim never left and Ed was an everyday kid in the 21st century.
1. Chapter 1: Materialism

"Good night, I love you" my dad says to me. Sitting up on my bed I mentally cringe. I hate this.

My mind flashes back to my earliest memories, I'd just dropped my plate of oranges and my dad went crazy, yelling me, hitting me and then sending me to my room to sit in solitude. All over a stupid plate of oranges.

On top of that, he's got these crazy goals for me like I'll graduate #1 in all my classes. That's never going to happen and I think he knows that but he likes to yell at me when I fail anyways. A long time ago I got a B on my report card. My dad hit me so hard I got a fat lip for over a week. Thank god I was only in grade 1, I don't think my friends now a days would believe that I "tripped and fell" on my mouth of all places. Since then he's hit me tons more times. I ignore them now. I've learned not to show weakness in front of him. It shows that he affects me and I don't ever want him to see that.

I don't think I've lived a single day of my life where my dad hasn't yelled at me. He's big, loud and swings when he's angry but it doesn't affect me now. I've learned to adapt. I've learned to think before speaking and just avoid him whatever chance I get.

However, he's still my dad, he read to me when I was a kid, stayed up all night with me when I wasn't feeling well. He's bought me everything I've ever wanted that he can get. He gives me food, shelter, clothes and much more. My head tells me it's a decent price to pay but my heart is saying otherwise. Would I love him if it wasn't for his money? I've been asking myself that question ever since I was 5 and now that I'm 15 I still don't know the answer.

All these thoughts are racing through my head at a thousand thoughts per second. I blink once and look at my dad. He's standing there looking down at me on my bed waiting for me to say the right words. I say them automatically. "I love you too dad".

I see him smile. I turn off my lamp and my dad walks out of the room. He's happy that I've said the right words but deep down inside, as I lay down in the dark I don't know if I have.....

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I wrote this a long time ago for a writing workshop for school. They told me to write something in 15 min and hand it in and they'd assess "what level I was in" or something like that. I dug it out today and realized it could be used for Ed and Hohenheim and I could expand on it so here it is.....Reviews would be greatly appreciated. I accept anonymous reviews too. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2: Freedom

"You're a fucking moron"

That sentence, 4 words, 6 syllables. That sentence is enough to ignite a fire in the pit of your body and have anger course through your viens.

If it was anyone else, your friend, your little brother or even a bastard Colonel then your reaction would be different. You'd probably, play along with the comment, throw a snappy retort or just punch the bastard in the gut.

However, when the person who says it is you _dad_ then you tend to react a bit differently don't you?

Your whole life you've been living exactly the way _he_ wants it. Just to prove yourself to him. He wants you to be a scientist, you nod and tell all your friends and teachers that that's what you want to be. He wants you to be an A student, you nod and hole yourself up in your room studying what the difference is between alchemy and science. Never mind the fact that you honestly believe that alchemy _is_ a science. _He _won't take that for an answer.

All this effort, you're an A student, have been since elementary school. You're athletic, a good sportsman and an artist, at least according to your report cards. You think as long as you get good grades and behave well _he_ will think you're always his golden boy.

But you're wrong.

It doesn't matter what you do, how good of a grade you get and how well you behave. You'll always disappoint. At the start of the moment, _he _won't think twice about what your previous accomplishments, they aren't worth shit and it'll take you a good 15 years or more of your life just to realize this.

When you have it's too late, there's no way out and you have to continue trying to go over that bar that you yourself have made.

Now, whenever he says that one sentence or something similar to that you don't throw a tantrum, curse, yell or even talk back. Instead you give the appearance that you've silently accepted it. You might tense your body up a bit but that's fine, as long as _he_ won't see it. You don't clench your teeth, narrow your eyes or ball your hands into fists. This shows that what he says has actually affected you and you don't _ever _want to show weakness, especially not to _him_.

Instead, after the lecture and the occasional "yes" for questions, you slowly, giving the illusion of calm, go back to what you were previously doing. You force that anger and tension into a small bottle beside your heart and keep it there. You know that one day, that bottle will shatter but that time will come far into the future, when you've moved out, have no one to criticize you and you're finally _free._

Your whole life you've been living exactly the way _he_ wants it. You're free when you finally start living the way _you_ want.

Now, when people ask you what you want to be when you grow up. You say "I want to be a scientist" but you think "I want to be _free_."

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Planning on making this a trilogy so one more chapter to go. Review please.


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